Action / Reaction around the NHL

ACTION: Dany Heatley wants to be traded out of Ottawa.

REACTION: Well, the fact that the Isles have cap room and The Heater makes $7.5 million a year means that the Islanders are going to be rumored as a destination for the disgruntled goal scorer. Whether or not he's be 'gruntled' in blue, white, and orange is another story.

Already the Ottawa Sun is banishing Heatley to the Islanders as a form of punishment. Even funnier is the fact that somebody thinks the Isles will trade the first overall pick to the Senators for Heatley. Seriously, are these writers on crack? Do they stop for even a minute to think these things through logically? There's no chance that Garth Snow sends the #1 overall pick to Ottawa for Heatley. He could send the 26th overall pick for him. That wouldn't be a bad deal at all. But the first pick? No chance.

Let's also dig a little deeper, Ottawa. Heatley has a no-movement clause in his contract that he'd have to waive to be sent anywhere. So right there is a stumbling block. Also, can Heatley play the firepants hockey that Scott Gordon is teaching on the Island? I mean, if he is complaining about back-checking in Ottawa, what the heck would he do with the Islanders when he would have to bust his ass all over the rink?

Would he bring goals? Probably. But what about the attitude? The guy is on the verge of bitching his way out of his second city. Maybe all he wants to do is hang around a former American Idol like Mike Fisher does. If that's the case, I hear Ruben Studdard is available.

Bumper Sticker for the Ottawa Sun: Get a grip.


ACTION: Marc Crawford hired in Dallas to coach the Stars and the fans don't like it.

REACTION: At least now we won't have to hear him on Hockey Night in Canada. You can insert your own Steve Moore joke here if you like.

Dave Tippett is now free of the mess in Dallas. Working for Brett Hull--even though he has been (ahem) "reassigned"--cannot be easy. Tippett's a good man and a good coach. It's not his fault Marty Turco turns into a big holey pumpkin every spring.

Bumper Sticker for the Dallas Stars: Oops!


ACTION: Game seven tomorrow night!

REACTION: Hell yeah!

Bumper Sticker for TV writers: Nobody watches the NBA.



ACTION: NBC won't allow the Penguins or Red Wings to host big screen viewing parties for their fans because these gatherings take away from ratings.

REACTION: I don't live in Pittsburgh or Detroit so I don't care. The games have been great and the ratings are way up and everyone is holding hands and singing songs.

Bumper Sticker for the Stanley Cup: Mike Bolt is The Man.


ACTION: Quebecor Media and Molson make separate bids for the Montreal Canadiens.

REACTION: George Gillett is losing money in the English Premiere League and needs to bail. The Quebecor Media consortium includes Celine Dion's husband.

Free Advice to George Gillett: Sell to Molson and leave a hero for not picking Celine for anything. Even in Quebec.