Retro Live Blog: WHA Chronicles

Time for another trip in the Way Back Machine for one of the most popular and most requested features on NYIFORLIFE.com, the Retro Live Blog. Come with me if you will back to a time when bellbottom pants were a good idea and big thick sideburns were acceptable alternative to those silly winter hats with ear flaps. Come with me back to the World's Most Famous Arena To Be Housed In A Mall, The Hartford Civic Center, for a WHA feature from December 27, 1976, when the hometown NEW ENGLAND Whalers hosted the Soviet National Team.

(You can pick up the WHA Chronicles DVD set here: http://www.sportonvideo.com/Hockey/The-WHA-Chronicles/)

Our hosts tonight are the guy who actually invented ESPN, Bill Rasmussen and New York TV uber-dude, Spencer Ross. Seriously, the guy was everywhere in NY sports back in the day. He was like a freaking seagull. Spencer looks pretty young and disinterested here. I'm not gonna say he was loaded or anything, no sir-ee, but if I was rocking a hair style like Waldo from the Van Halen video, I'd have to be drunk to go out in public.

The Whalers are announced and man, as a guy who was born and lowered in Connecticut, it sure is nice to see a hockey team come out when "Brass Bonanza" is played. Hear that, Red Sox? You suck!

Lowell Weicker, then a senator from the state, dropped the ceremonial first puck between captains Tom Webster of New England and Alexandr Maltsev of the USSR. Webster actually wins a hotly contested faceoff--I am not kidding--which proves the true competitiveness of how things were between the North Americans and the Soviets in the 1970s.

Next is the Russian anthem. Heeeey--this isn't the song Nikolai Volkoff used to sing before his matches in the WWF? What a miscarriage of justice! Where is Fred Blassie? Where is the Iron Sheik?

The camera is on Soviet goalie Vladislav Tretiak, as it should be. He's the guy with the name recognition from the 1972 Summit Series with Canada. He gets the loudest ovation of all of the Soviets during the player announcements as well. (Mental note: watch the Summit Series again this summer.)

The US Anthem is being sung by someone who is NOT Tony Harrington. To my brothers and sisters from Tha 8-6-0, this is terrible news. Tony Harrington was The Man at Whaler games and is the measuring stick for every anthem singer I've heard for my whole life. We miss you Tony!

Now the game is starting. First off, I am going to tell you that the lack of on-screen graphics is actually maddening when you're trying to get Soviet names down correctly and the times of goals and penalties. I can only go by what they say in the broadcast and some of the names are going to be wrong because I don't know how to spell some of the names and am too lazy to look it up.

New England goalie Cap Raeder almost immediately sends a clearing pass over the glass and does not get penalized! I mention that only because I like that new rule. It is a delay of game, people...

It's choppy going early. Raeder turns an early Soviet chance into the crowd and then it dawns on me that in a couple of years, that roof of the Civic Center is actually going to cave in under heavy snow from the winter of '78. Not good times...

The Whalers shake off the fear of impending doom do get a couple of reasonable scoring chances from Tom Webster and Mike Rogers--a guy who has to be one of the most under-rated players in hockey history. That little dude was pretty shifty and scored a lot of points between the Whalers and the Rangers after the merger. And yes, I just complimented a future Ranger player...

Another good Whaler chance, this time by rookie George Lyle, who had scored 23 goals in 34 games at the time. Thanks, Mr. Rasmussen...

Ross sends it down to Forrest Gump himself, Stan Fischler, who is rinkside with Mark Mulvoy. Stan and Mark talk about how the Russians bought a pitching machine from Canada and modified it to fire 1000 pucks a day at Tretiak...

The Whalers take a 1-0 lead on a goal by Garry Swain. Defensemen Doug Roberts shoveled it toward the net and a guy named Dale Smedsmo dummied it as Swain was sitting at the right side of the crease to tip it past Tretiak. Dale Smedsmo, it should be noted, looks a lot like Hulk Hogan without having said his prayers or taking his vitamins. He has the starter skullet-mullet with the bald spot and the shifty concern for mustache maintenance. Yes, he looks like a porn star! Very good times...

Penalty on Maltsev at 4:39. We never find out what he did. Referee Bill Friday warns the Soviet bench to shut their yaps and threatens them with another. I didn't see or hear any Soviet whining...

At 7:37, we get matching penalties. A Soviet dude gets a charge and Whaler Brett Callighen gets a retaliation elbow. There are going to be a lot of penalties tonight, people...

After the penalties end, Tretiak steals one off the stick of Swain; who was led behind the Soviet defense on a backhand pass by Gordie Roberts...

I am absolutely openly rooting for Dale Smedsmo now even though this game has been in the rearview mirror for 32 years. The guy is just hilarious looking. Dale, if you're reading this, you totally rocked. Drop us a line here at the address above...

Whaler Alan Hangsleben is whistled for an elbow that looked more like interference to me. Of course, as soon as I write this, we get a rare replay that shows Hangsleben using his elbow to Q-tip some Russian dude. My bad...

Color guy Bill Rasmussen adds that "last week" the Whalers dropped a 4-1 game to the Czechs and that the crowd had turned on the Whalers and began booing the team. Hey, don't blame me. I was only turning seven and didn't know hockey from a hole in the ground yet...

25 Vialynov gets two minutes on a high stick. Bill Friday really likes the sound of his own voice because eight seconds later, at 13:21, Gordie Roberts gets caught on a trip to make it 4-on-4 hockey...

Webster feeds Rogers as he breaks through the Soviet defense but he is denied like most of the callers on the Suze Orman Show...

Tommy Earl and Alan Hangsleben play a neat give-and-go to make it 2-0 Whalers 26 seconds into the 4-on-4...

More penalties. Gordie Roberts (again) elbowing a Soviet guy as he leaves his own zone. Gordie deserved that one, fir sure...

26 seconds into the PP, Maltsev puts the Soviets on the board with a wrister that beats Raeder inside the post. 2-1 New England...

Gary MacGregor almost immediately restores the two goal lead at 17:09 with a weird deflection. Tretiak was way out of his crease and Danny Bolduc just sorta winged one toward the net waist-high. A strange and ugly shot that McGregor tipped in somehow. 3-1 Whalers...

I am seriously gonna puke. Friday gets Sergei Babinov for upending Danny Arndt at 18:42...

Gordie Roberts, with 29 seconds left in the first, gets whistled (again) for the third time for holding. If the WHA were a rec league, he'd be tossed right here...

End of the first period: Whalers 3 Soviets 1. Shots on goal: NE 19; Soviets 8.

Onto Period 2:

We begin 4-on-4...

On a Whaler rush, Hangsleben almost loses his hangsleben on a push into the unforgiving cage by Alexandr Yakushev. There's referee Friday, who announces the call to the rinkside official and boy does he sound pissed. It's starting to get a leetle bit testy on the ice...

None of that matters because on another Whaler rush--and they have shown a freakish ability to get behind the Soviets in this game--Larry effing Pleau backhands the puck wide of Tretiak and immediately tries to trade the Blues' 2008 first rounder to Carolina for the rights to "promising Latvian" Helmut Balderis. The trade is later veto'd by St. Louis bigwig John Davidson...

Brett Callighen gets an elbow call at 2:30 and he also is assessed a very-well-earned ten minute misconduct for said elbow...

Finally, on this Soviet PP, we see some of that trademarked Russian passing game. They're almost doing something like the modern cycle out there. The Soviets keep the puck for a solid half-minute and Raeder is forced to make at least two excellent saves...

Unbelievable! Russian dude whistled for high sticking. Was Friday paid by the infraction? There literally seems to be a conga line to the box tonight...

Gordie Roberts (him, again!) hooks Maltsev and forces Raeder to make a heck of a save in the process. The Soviets are getting some sustained pressure for the first time in the game...

7:07 Hangsleben must've felt sorry for Roberts, feeling shame all by himself in the box. I feel like stopping this blog out of disgust...

Wouldn't you know it, Gennadi Tsygankov holds Tommy Earl. My wife comes in and after a few minutes of watching, asks me why everyone is skating in slow motion. Well, it was the seventies and training techniques often included polyester, Ron Burgundy mustaches, and shots of Crown Royal. That's enough to make anyone skate slowly. Plus, everyone looked like the Marlboro Man...which reminds me...I haven't seen Dale Smedsmo in a while...

I must be actually huffing Flomax because I think Spencer Ross just called the Hartford Civic Center a "beautiful facility". I had to rewind the DVD to be sure, but yes, he actually did. Wow. First time for everything...

Ron Busniuk must've wanted to be on the scoresheet because he just tripped a guy and he joins Callighen--still serving the misconduct--in the box...

Here is as good a time as there will be to mention that Raeder is leaving rebounds juicy enough to make a runway model salivate. Seriously, if a high school goalie did this, he'd have been nailed to the bench after the first period by a coach with veins throbbing at the temples. If I had a real Way Back Machine, I go back in time and tap in a couple of these beauties...

With 5 seconds left on Busniuk's penalty, the Russians are complaining that a puck went through the netting and popped out without getting credit for a goal. Replays look pretty convincing to me but Friday rules no goal...I mean, No Goal-ov...

Stan is back, looking like the stone cold natty pimp he was rocking the turtleneck-and-sports coat combo. He mentions the name of Valeri Kharmalov, who is not playing, but no one says why he isn't playing. I'll say it because we are all thinking it: cover-up!

Did you think the penalty parade was over? Behind the play, Friday gets Balderis for boarding and Webster for roughing at 19:42.

After the second period ends, Stan interviews Vladislav Petrov and Boris Mikhailov with the help of a Russian translator from the state-operated TASS agency. So right there, you know this interview is legit. They could be saying "Eff you Yankee blue jeans" and we would have no idea.

Still 3-1 Whalers after two.

In the third period, we start four-on-four...

Tretiak flashes leather at Danny Arndt for his first save of the period...

I am reminded that this game was originally broadcast on HBO; or "Home Box Office" back then. If this game were being played today, there be all sorts of cross-promotion and corporate synergy going on. You know, the stuff that pisses us off today. Anyway, I'm thinking that some HBO-contracted performers would either stop by the booth or play between periods, if we were lucky enough for the Flight of the Conchords. Then you'd know what time it was. Aw, yeah, it's Business Time...

Nothing much happens so I am still thinking Conchords...that's why they're called business socks, whoo...

Garry Swain gets the gate on a trip at 7:03...

Again with those rebounds! Yakushev slaps a rebound past Raeder to cut the Whaler lead to 1 but moments later, George Lyle scores for New England on passes from Jim Troy and Gordie Roberts! Atta, boy, Gordie! See what happens when you stay out of the box?

Jim Troy also was one of the guys responsible for helping Vince McMahon get the WWF off the ground with their national expansion. Honestly. Just more useless crap that I know. Anyway, now the Soviets find themselves down 4-2...

At 10 minutes, the goalies switch ends, as was the international rule of the day...

3:50 left in the game. I am writing less and less. That's because before you read this, the RLB gets written out in longhand on legal paper and as an adult, I haven't hand written anything longer than a grocery list in years. My hand is tired. Plus, there's not a lot goin' on...until...

George Lyle gets behind the Soviet defense again and he pots his second goal of the game. Mike Rogers flipped one through two defenders to spring Lyle. Man, Rogers was really good...

Wait--if Lyle gets one more goal for the hat trick, Cap Raeder is going to have to throw himself on the ice! Yes, I am proud of myself for that one...

27 seconds left and Bill Friday whistles Tsygankov for a hook. Swallow the whistle, Billy...

And we finish with a score of New England 5 and the Soviets 2. Total shots on goal for the game: Soviets 33 and the Whalers 38.

Thanks for sticking to the end of this Retro Live Blog. We'll have more coming up this summer. Congrats to the Red Wings and Nicklas Lidstrom, who is one of my all-time favorites as well.

Get ready for the Silly Season of the summer in the NHL.