It's Not Going To Happen

Some of the great lies in life are written and told by those who don't have a freaking clue.

How do I know this? Well, I know this because over the weekend I read in Newsday that the Islanders allegedly have had talks in bringing back prodigal cash checker Alexei Yashin. Since then, I have gotten emails and calls and been stopped in the halls at work by people who have asked me if I heard that the Isles were bringing Yashin back this summer.

Just one thing; everybody on the internet and people I know: no one from the Islanders is even quoted in the story saying anything regarding Alexei Yashin. Every statement in there was spoken by Yashin's agent, Marc Gandler.

Gandler is, by trade, an agent. It is in the best interest of an agent to work up some hype behind anyone he or she represents because hype means more money. Gandler is simply using the Islanders in an attempt to drum up some interest in his client--for which presently, there is none.

Think about it for just a second. Garth Snow and the Islanders Brain Trust are publically married to the idea of a youth movement on Long Island. Correct me if I am wrong, but when you decide to go with the kids you have to be prepared to take your lumps, sure, while they learn on the job. But you also need to surround the kids with positive influences in and around the clubhouse. You need them to feel safe and relaxed as the kids learn their way through the NHL and being an adult. You need to coddle and you need to know when to be stern so the kids grow up.

Now, if you're going to go that route, would you bother bringing back in the glaring red sign of inconsistency and alleged aloofness to mix in the incubator? Of course you wouldn't. Why the heck would you mess with that delicate and intangible chemistry by adding a lightning rod to the room?

Look--Garth Snow is simply not that stupid. Ted Nolan is not that stupid and oh, by the way--last time Yashin was an Islander, the coach had tried and tried again and even he couldn't get a consistent effort out of Yashin. Why revisit that nightmare a year after you appeased the loyal fans by paying Alexei Yashin to go away?

And don't give me this "we need more offense" crap. I know we need more offense and yes, Yashin allegedly scored a little bit over in Russia. But do we need the sickness that he brings just to score a few more times? Don't you think that with a healthy Mike Comrie (who played half a season on a bad hip) and a healthy Bill Guerin (who played half the year with a bum shoulder) that those two guys alone are going to be worth more on the scoresheet than Yashin is going to anyway? Why bring The Walking Heat Magnet into the locker room when it is going to be a tough season full of growing pains anyway?

Speaking of Walking Heat Magnets, don't you love it when they show Kirk Muller on the bench as an assistant coach for the Montreal Canadiens and they talk about how great he is with the young players? Don't you just well up in the eyes when you hear about the great leadership "Captain Kirk" brought to the Devils and Habs and Leafs throughout his career? Don't you stick out your chest with pride when you recall the time Muller deigned to join us on the Island and he was such a stand-up guy and leader that turned around the fortunes of the Fisherman Franchise?

You don't? Oh, wow. That is so weird. Weren't those 27 games over 2 years just so freaking legendary? What? They weren't. Man, do I feel dumb.

Anyhoo, there actually is a reason I brought up Kirk Muller and it isn't just because I resent the way he treated the Islanders. I bring it up because on NHL.com, in their Frozen Moment picture of the day, they posted a photo of Pavel Bure from 1995 where he was playing for the Islanders. It actually looks like he may have been trying. Enjoy.