NFL Network vs. the NHL Network

OK, so we've had a little while to gauge the impact that the NHL Network
has on our lives. We know that it is better than crack, sliced bread,
and penicillin combined. So, what's left? Comparison shopping, of
course.

If you're like me--and you are because you are reading this--you've had
some time to sample the NFL Network over time and you have come to some
well-rounded conclusions because you're a thinker. There are a lot of
positives for NFL fans with the channel. For instance, if you are one
of those fantasy players, well, there is a lot of information for you on
there. Caring less about wins and losses and just worrying about stats
seems to be important to a large segment of the NFL fan base and the NFL
Network has nightly shows to tell you about fantasy points and how to be
a better gambler with all sorts of news on injuries and player
ineffectiveness. If you're looking for it, they have it. Stop your
shaking.

The NFL Network also has the mighty power of NFL Films and that cannot
ever be denied. I am wholly convinced that people in my age group had
their love of football shaped by the grainy images and war-time music
that totally classes up the entire NFL experience. To this day,
football highlights shot on film (as opposed to videotape) with the
Voice of God Guy talking over the epic and sweeping NFL theme library
still makes for arresting and interesting TV. No doubt about that.

The NFL Network also features talking head Rich Eisen with his
permasmile smirk. Say what you will about Dan Pollard, but I will take
the guy who looks like Max Headroom's fleshy stunt double and rocks all
the vivacity of a grilled cheese sandwich over a smarmy frat boy every
day of the week. Then again, maybe that is why I am no fan of ESPN.

Jerry Jones would also like all of the NFL fans who are cable
subscribers to change over to a satellite service because the larger
cable companies are resistant to put the NFL Network on basic cable.
They want to keep it on a digital tier or as part of a buy-in package of
channels. Now before you run out and do whatever the NFL tells you to
do, think about this: the only reason a megamillionaire like Jones wants
you to do that is because he and the other filthy rich NFL owners stand
to make a gajillion more bucks in advertising and subscriber fees if
their network is featured on basic cable packages. Basic cable means
access to more homes. More homes means more potential marks to be
pitched to. Increased marketing means more money for botched facelifts
for the iguana-like Jerry Jones.

I don't mind being marketed to at all. I don't like it but I accept it.
But to cloud the real issue like Jones is doing by blaming the cable
companies from giving you the NFL is like saying that Coca Cola is
rotting your teeth faster than Pepsi will. The NFL had a chance to make
nice by selling 8 games to Comcast and Versus but they turned around and
essentially sold the 8 games to themselves for less money and a chance
to build their network. That's pretty ballsy stuff. Plus they shut
cable out of the bidding for and/or sharing the NFL Sunday Ticket
package, preferring to take Direct TV's cash for exclusivity rather than
casting a wider net.

So, as you can see, when you add it all up, the NHL Network wins by
leaps and bounds over the NFL Network!! Wait--are you saying that I
really didn't have a lot of evidence in my debate? Are you thinking
that Deion Sanders is awesome on TV and that Larry Murphy and Bill Berg
are not dynamic and engaging personalities? Are you still wondering who
Max Headroom is and why I compared Dan Pollard to a lunch favorite of
children everywhere? If you are, you are so missing the point.

The NHL Network has hockey. The NFL Network does not. Hockey wins
every time!