Chris Benoit

I said that I wasn't going to write today. I just didn't think I could put into words how I felt about the passing of Chris Benoit.

I've written before about how much I used to enjoy the old school wrestling. While not a fan of the newer product, last night I flipped by USA expecting to see the stupid angle that I have been hearing about--who blew up Mr. McMahon--only to see a picture of Chris Benoit on the screen with the dates 1967-2007 under his name. I was instantly speechless. I think I said something along the lines like "He's effing DEAD?" to my wife and then the next few minutes were a blur as I stared at the TV.

The show began with Vince McMahon in the ring in an empty arena. Shaken, he calmly told us that Chris; his wife Nancy; and son Daniel were found dead earlier that afternoon in their suburban Atlanta home. And then, the RAW show became the a Chris Benoit tribute show. I watched a couple of hours of the show and I was still shocked when I tried to go to sleep. At the time, there was not a lot of news about the situation on the internet so the mind was free to race around and try to draw any logical conclusion except for the one that ended up being true: that he had done it. I remember fighting that speculative urge in my own head because I just didn't want it to be the way it all went down. I figured if anything it may have been a Phil Hartman-type of deal; anything but pointing the finger at a professional that I had respected for years. Think about that a minute. Best case scenario was that a guy was murdered by his wife. I felt terrible for even considering it.

We all know that death is inevitable. The negative amongst us would mention that for every day we are alive, we are one day closer to death. Suicide and murder can be prevented. Now I am not here wagging a finger at the WWE or other wrestlers or even the wrestling lifestyle at all. If you ask anyone in wrestling, to truly succeed in the industry, you have to love the business and the constant travel for your ten minutes a night under the hot arena lights. Some people are built for it and tick a little differently that the rest of us. Myself, I could never do it. I hate to travel and I am a homebody. If you're in the WWE, with the constant time and travel demands, it is near-impossible to have what would pass as a normal life in regular society. The pressure is insane. There is always someone behind you trying to take your spot and livelihood. You need to maintain your training and your tanning and stay fit. Many wrestlers turn to a bottle or two to help them keep their physiques and to deal with the stress. I'm not advocating a shortcut in any way; I'm just saying it out loud. Having ten thousand fans scream for you has to be an incredible rush and difficult to deal with when you leave the arena and end up in a crappy hotel room by yourself miles from your friends and family. That up-and-down night after night while you're getting pounded on and/or concussed while putting your own body on the line has to mess with your mind. The power to affect people positively combined with the endless road trips featuring crushing loneliness; dive hotels, poor sleep; and another trip to the airport is not a healthy way to live. I don't know how the heck they do it. I'm not saying these were mitigating factors in what happened to Chris Benoit and his family. I'm just saying that it couldn't have helped.

In professional wrestling, young men die. It's a proven fact. Many seem to die around the age of forty; which is how old Chris Benoit was at his passing. The names roll out of your head so easily that it's scary. Names like Curt Hennig; Rick Rude; Brian Pillman; Owen Hart; The Renegade; Eddie Guerrero; Louie Spicolli; Kerry Von Erich; Davey Boy Smith; Miss Elizabeth; Chris Candido; and the Junk Yard Dog. Wrestling fans have almost become numb to this fact (how scary is that?) and the mainstream press rarely delves into this phenomenon because, after all, "it's just wrestling" and golf is more interesting.

You know, whenever someone I knew would criticize professional wrestling or would ask me why I liked it, I could point to a guy like Chris Benoit with his obvious talent and intensity and tell them that he and Arn Anderson were the best wrestlers in allowing the audience to suspend their disbelief. Hulk Hogan and John Cena can't do it; but guys like Anderson and Benoit sure as hell could by commanding respect from the fans they entertained.

And now, in his death, Chris Benoit has done it again. The circumstances surrounding his death are just shocking and I don't want to believe it.